Sex after marriage?

Monday, January 10, 2005

Whence we came

Let me say right now that I have no idea what is a "normal" amount of sex experience. I think that Husband I came in to our marriage with reasonably "normal" amounts of experience, but I may be way off the mark.

Before Husband, I had two long term relationships, one that lasted my final two years of high school and my first two years of college, and the other that lasted my final 4 years of graduate school (I was there for a while!) In the three years between those relationships I had a number of "fuck-buddies" - I hate that term, but it really describes it the best... men who were my friends and whom I could pretty much call upon for sex whenever I felt like it - and quite a few one nighters. I never ever ever had sex with a guy that I was casually dating and then had it end up going nowhere (ie it turned into my graduate school relationship.) I've no idea how that happened, the either no-strings sex or sex leading to relationship approach, with no middle ground... but it did and there you go. So I guess I'd had about 20 or so sexual partners before Husband.

Husband was a late bloomer, to quote himself. I don't think he got around to getting it on till his early 20s (he's a few years older than me.) He had one long term relationship before me, an on again off again saga that lasted five or so years; fucked a few girls that he'd dated and had one fuckbuddy. He's also engaged the services of a couple of hookers. I think he's slept with about 7 or 8 different women, including the prostitutes.

Why is any of this relevant? I don't know. But from talking to a few of my friends (without me going into the specifics of my own situation) it seems very uncommon that the woman in the relationship has had more than twice the number of sex partners than the man. I dunno. Maybe my friends are weird.


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